Regression

ARGH. Now i know how girls trying to lose weight must feel. I put on 1kg per week for the first 3 weeks I was here, and suddenly, it's ALL GONE.

WHY?

How come it takes so long to put on the weight and so fast to lose it again? All my suffering T___T Forcing myself to finish the colossal servings at Dessert House although I already felt like puking...I even bought a new dress to celebrate the fruits of my labour and was happy cause it was pretty nice and cost only $5.

Today, my mom came back after 2 weeks in India and Skyped me, so I tried on the dress again to show her and lo and behold! My boobs are gone and my hipbones are clearly visible beneath the fabric. WHAT? And my cheekbones are protruding ever so slightly again.

*rage*

I'm gonna go on a binge eating quest. I WILL finish every dish I order and if I'm still hungry afterwards I will eat dessert. Sigh. I wish food was cheaper in Melbourne.

And no, don't ask me to eat more candy and junk food cause 'that's the fastest way to gain weight.'

1. It's unhealthy.

2. My teeth aren't exactly in good shape (from braces and a sugar addiction since I was a child.) My dentist actually got a minor shock when I opened up my mouth. Hey, to be fair, I was treated after my sister, whom the dentist declared has 'perfect teeth.' It's hard living up to that standard alright?

3. The cost of junk food adds up. $2 here, $3.60 there...imagine if I stopped drinking coffee or whatever my morning drink is. With an average of $3 per drink, 3 times a week, that's a whopping $288 right there! I could buy a 3DS! (After a few months)

ALSO. I can eat a bar of chocolate a day and I won't gain ANY weight whatsoever. Hot chocolate, cakes, ice cream...unless I really binge on them, which is bad for my body and I'm already very unhealthy as it is. (I don't eat veggies at all unless someone forces me to.)

And NO, I'm not gloating over all you people out there trying to lose weight. I'm pretty much in the same boat (if not, then similar) - we all can't be the ideal size we want.

Bah. I wish fat transfusions were possible, as disgusting as they sound. However, I still wonder if people would be truly happy with themselves even after they transferred all their unwanted weight to me.

Are we really that unhappy about our appearance, or are we just finding something to be negative about?

Some people undergo plastic surgery - oh, I just have to fix this bump in my nose - and end up doing 15 different procedures. I think it's not so much our appearance that's the problem, it's our mindset.

We can never see ourselves as being perfect, or even just nice. If you do, you're considered an egomaniac who needs a lesson in humility.

Sigh. The world is weird and wonderful.