You're a fresh graduate looking for a job. You go for an interview and all goes well. Your portfolio impressed your interviewer and you said all the right things. Before you conclude the interview, your prospective employer asks you:
"What is your expected salary?"
"Oh, um...40k?"
"Congratulations, you're hired!"
And you go home all ecstatic and enthused about landing your first job. Little did you know, your new employer was willing to hire you for 60k a year, but since you said you'll settle for 40k, of COURSE he said sure, awesome, you're hired!
You have to know what you're worth and treat yourself accordingly. No one is going to tell you you're the best person in the world if you yourself don't think so.
Overtime? Sure. Fill in for me? Sure. Get me a coffee? No problem!
Yes sir, of course sir, right away sir ALL the time...and you ARE going to be taken for granted.
Not that getting coffee is demeaning, but if that's not your job, make it known that you're doing your boss a FAVOUR, lest he adds the thankless job of fetching coffee to your list of responsibilities without so much as a 'thank you' or a grateful smile.
Friendships work the same way. If you let people walk all over you, of course they will!
People love doormats, and if you're willing to be stepped all over with a smile on your face, WHY THE HELL NOT?
Not everyone is a good person who will appreciate how much you sacrifice for them. If you're so willing to do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE around you without expecting anything in return, some people will just happily use you as their secretary without a second thought.
People always say, 'do things without expecting something in return. Do good deeds with a pure heart.'
But how many good deeds can you do before people start expecting to keep churning out those 'good deeds' like a goddamn machine?
You SHOULD expect something in return!
You SHOULD expect a 'thank you' or an 'I really appreciate your help' if you will, it is acknowledgement that you've gone out of your way to help a friend.
I've seen so many people who willingly let themselves be bullied. They sell themselves so much cheaper than what they're worth.
Abusive boyfriend?
'Well, at least he takes me out to dinner often. '
Always paying for more than your share?
'Well, he/she IS my friend, it's no big deal, it's just a couple of dollars...'
Girl you're infatuated with using you for her own purposes?
'If I keep doing nice things for her, maybe she'll fall in love with me!'
FOOLS. FOOLS FOOLS FOOLS!
You're no longer a child, and thus you should be able to differentiate when someone is using you and when someone really appreciates your help and actually reciprocates how well you treat them.
And you know the ending of each story already.
The girl stays with abusive boyfriend who treats her like shit until he finds someone else and leaves her, bruised, emotionally broken...and maybe pregnant to top it all off.
Your friend leeches you dry, and when you fall upon hard times and could use some spare cash, your FRIEND vanishes into thin air without a trace.
The pretty girl smiles beautifully when you buy her pretty jewellery and gifts, but ends up together with another guy with more self-esteem than you...and you end up heartbroken over failing to win her heart over in your own pathetic way.
Here are some ways to spot bad friends, and they have all happened to me at one point or another:
***
1. They invite you to come for and chip in on a friend's surprise birthday party. You say yes and you walk to the birthday person's house all alone in the cold, dark streets close to midnight just to meet up with the others and surprise the birthday person with a cake and candles when the clock strikes 12. Yay, your friend is delighted!
Then, your birthday comes around and you get excited, kind of hoping they'll appear at your doorstep and ring your doorbell with 'surprise' presents and maybe a cake. It doesn't happen. In fact, no one wishes you happy birthday for the entire day except for your family and a couple of friends who saw the notification on facebook and typed a half-hearted 'happy bday!'
Man, they didn't even bother type out 'happy birthday' completely, let alone personalizing with your name at the end; how much do you think they care for you? They're just being polite.
Now I only do this for people I care about. :) The rest? You get a 'happy birthday [your name here] on facebook, cause I'm nice like that. *snort*
***
2. You hear people talking shit about your friend while your friend is absent, you stand up and vigorously defend your friend. The people perpetrating rumours then shut up and you feel victorious although your friend never finds out about how put yourself on the line to defend his or her honour.
Then, someone insults you and slanders your name in front of you and your friend...and your friend keeps absolutely quiet.
"I'd rather not take sides in an argument."
SERIOUSLY? After you put your neck on the chopping block to defend your friend (even if you don't know whether the gossip/rumours were true or not) your friend tries to keep their hands clean with THAT lame excuse? 'I don't want to take sides?' I've seriously met guys like that before, and all I can say is, they're worth SHIT to you if they can't even say something good about you when you need their backup the most.
On the other hand, I've had people start calling me a whore and bitch when they thought I wasn't around, and I saw my friends slam them back and shut them up so hard they probably choked on their own foul tongue. THOSE are friends who you can count on, and will defend you even when they don't know you're there, because they REALLY care about you.
***
3.Your friend asks you to help back them up on something they strongly believe in. You agree with them and fight for their rights alongside them. But the moment a hint of trouble emerges, your friend suddenly clams up and vanishes, making it seem that YOU were just trying to stir up trouble.
***
These are only a few examples, and from what I've heard from my other friends, it's not uncommon.
Have you ever excused yourself to the toilet and when you return, everyone is suddenly silent and looks vaguely guilty? Well, they're either planning you a surprise party or they were talking shit behind your back. You'll know when your birthday comes around and nothing happens. (:
My advice?
Dump those useless pieces of filth. Unless you're the same kind of person who betrays your friends and cancels last minute on a date for something 'more interesting'...then you probably deserve each other. :)
Some people call me a snob, and say that I'm unbelievably picky when it comes to friendships. Well, I am because I WON'T settle for less than a good, dependable friend. I'm worth more than that.
And so are you. You just have to have confidence in yourself and realise how much you're worth.
You set your own price. If you sell yourself cheap, people will use you accordingly. I'm not saying that you should become the ultimate snob and expect people to treat you in a godly manner...but in my opinion, life is way too short to be spent pretending to be nice and doing favours for people who don't even care.
I'd rather not waste time acting civil to someone I dislike; I'd rather spend that time doing nice things for people I actually care an iota about.
Someone once continually made me wait hours for him before he announced that the plans were canceled - he was busy spending time fooling around with his new girlfriend. Well, yes, it's not wrong to pamper and indulge your girlfriend, BUT I AM YOUR FRIEND TOO.
In fact, I was your friend BEFORE she was your girlfriend; don't you think I deserve some respect? If you KNOW you're going to break plans with me to hang out with your new girl, DON'T make plans in the first place and waste my time.
I stopped talking to that guy shortly after.
In another case, I spent my time and effort teaching a newbie whatever limited knowledge I knew about CS because he asked for help. He soon became pretty competent (well, he could at least walk properly) and started mixing more with other players.
Then, when he thought I wasn't there, he went ahead and told everyone that I was a noob and that I probably hacked as well. And I saw some other of my 'friends' agree with him. He then boasted he could easily beat me in a 1v1. I then spoke up and pointed out that we HAD done a duel before and he lost horribly. He then developed a sudden case of amnesia, denied it and accused me of lying in front of his new 'friends.'
Later, when we were alone and his new friends were gone, he tried to convince me that he was 'just kidding.' He said that I knew that he knew I was his sifu right? He says that he doesn't believe that I hack and blablabla...he was just being humourous blablabla...I just kicked him out of my game and I never spoke to him again.
Oh, and the best part? He started hacking afterwards and STILL loses to me. :|
Some days I wonder why such people exist. Why do they feel that they need to try so hard to impress other people that they think are 'important'? You could spend your life kissing someone's ass and the only thing you'll probably get is a foul-smelling mouth rash.
How could you sell out your own friend to save your own face when you know they'd always fight for you?
It's ridiculous.
People still have the cheek to say that I'm 'petty' and have 'lost many friends' by 'holding grudges.'
All I can say is, I can't lose a friend if they weren't my friend in the first place. :
And it's not about holding grudges, it's about remembering how badly someone treated you and not letting that happen again.
Life's too short to spend time with people who don't appreciate you and treat you like the friend you are.
I'd rather be alone that be with friends who drag me down. Better to live in solitude than drown miserably trying to be social.
But that's just me.
How YOU price yourself is up to you entirely.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Holidays!
Hello blog, sorry to have ignored you for such a long time.
I've been busy doing work...well, playing lots of games but doing work too. But now semester is over and I can now fully enjoy the holidays (after I shake of this bout of sickness - burnout blahness) AND that means I can (but not necessarily will) blog again!
Anyway, in this short period of time I've found more People I Dislike/Find Mildly Annoying:
1. People who don't bathe. And go for a smoke and the smell never leaves because its caught in their long filthy hair that hasn't been washed in probably 2-3 weeks.
2. People who initiate conversations but leave when they have something better to do aka 'friends' who only find you when they're bored.
3. Twitter spammers OMG geez! I know it's twitter and it's supposed to be self-centered and all...but seriously? I don't need to know how you feel every 2 minutes. Literally. I kind of regret signing up for twitter (but follow me anyway! I'm chocosnowbunnie *shameless self-whoring*)
4. People who avoid answering questions. You're just shady and I'm inclined to believe that you have something to hide and therefore I assume that you're a dishonest person and therefore I don't like you.
5. Cryptic people. Asking me something weird/making unusual comments and refuse to elaborate on it. Wtf?
"Steph...I have to tell you something..."
"What?"
"Nah...it's really stupid...nvm.."
"Just tell me ffs"
"No, forget it."
"..."
FARKIUUUUU don't like that can or not? Sangat the suspense leh! But since this only comes from guys online, I'd like to fill in the blanks myself and imagine they are hopelessly in love with me but knows that their love will go unrequited because I only love my bf and so they decided against confessing at the last moment.
THERE. I feel better now.
Okay, on to something positive.
Things I plan to do this holiday:
(27 May - 17 July 2011)
1. Get my online portfolio up and running. It's empty at the moment but if you check back once in a while you may see something new and interesting! (If I haven't spammed it on facebook already.)
2. Download Unity3D and make my first game. Have plans to do this with Junki over the holidays, but we'll see how it goes cause I'm working and then going back home to Malaysia after that.
3. Work. Going back to VCAA to earn some $$$. I'm buying a new camera, the pink Canon Powershot SX 230 HS if that matters. I'm also interested in a Kindle...but not sure if it's practical as its 3Ge is unavailable in Malaysia.
4. Play some games! Bought so many a while ago which I haven't even downloaded. Especially interested in Bioshock 1 and 2 :)
5. Get my skillz back. I just realised what a complete trainwreck I am when I'm playing CS. Not only do I panic when up against a competen adversary, I also lose my temper and subsequently play even worse and then spiral into a never-ending pit of suckage and madness. What happened to composure? Pah. I was never that good but now I'm just shamefully bad.
6. Practice drawing/do more design work. Anyone willing to hire me? I'll do your design work for FREE! Well, maybe payment in the form of teh ais and credit will be more than sufficient :) Just looking for things to do.
7. Learn DreamWeaver and revamp this whole blog.
Things I hopefully will NOT do this holiday:
1. Get into an argument with worthless ahbengs. No, I'm not saying all ahbengs are worthless, some are actually pretty nice and sweet people. I mean, don't get into a verbal fight with the ah bengs who ARE worthless. Gotta learn to keep my head level and screwed on properly.
2. Get drunk. I feel like going clubbing with my dear Vivi and I WILL maintain my 2-year streak of sobriety.
3. Stop hurting my friends feelings. Maybe they're hopelessly scatterbrained or maybe they smoke. But they're my friends and there's more to them than that. I really cannot tolerate smoke but I'm glad that most of my friends know that and blow their smoke away from me/go outside to smoke. Let me get this clear once and for all: I don't hate smokers, but I DO hate the fact that you smoke. But I still love you :(
4. Pick unnecessary fights online. It's hard not to feel betrayed/pissed off at some people, but PFFT! I can rise above all that, right?
5. Rape Sam. HA just joking ;D I'll keep my pants on. Probably.
Things I wish WOULD happen during this holiday:
1. Receive all HDs for my assignments. Or at least 3. Pretty please? I worked really hard...
2. Get my hair done. I've still got 1/3 a bottle of purple hairdye :) Hopefully I find the time to redye my fading pink streaks.
3. Receive my new camera! I'm excited at the thought of finally carrying a camera around in my bag and taking random shots again.
4. Meet up with all my friends. This rarely happens, as in 'all' my friends. I normally keep going out with the same few and neglect the others. I'm sorry. And I WILL hunt KC down this time X)
5. Regulate my eat/sleep cycle. It's pretty screwed up atm, from all the allnighters I've pulled at the end of the semester. Staying awake for 24 hours and sleeping for 16...then working for another 24 hours. 1 meal a day...that reminds me I've lost a LOT of weight. I FEEL thinner.
6. GAIN WEIGHT. How many times have I wished this would happen but it didn't? I could change it to 'grow a sweet pair of boobs' and that would probably be more likely to happen. Though when that happens, my wish to gain weight would probably be fulfilled as well, seeing as boobs don't weight nothing.
7. Foster closer friendships. I'm still pretty iffy on the whole friendship thing. I like people but that can change very fast. I know it, but I don't know how to help it. It's built into my personality I guess...it says so right here! Yea, I'm an INTP and I found the article and all its sub-articles to be 80% accurate. If you're curious, take the Myers-Briggs personality test and you'll find that the description of the results seems to understand like no one else ever has.
But sigh. I don't want to be picky...I'm sorry. I find it hard to see past flaws, including my own. The good news is that once you've somehow wormed your way into my heart, I'll probably always have a soft spot for you :) Unless you do something so horrible and unforgiveable, after which I'll probably evict you permanently.
Don't blame me. It's part of my personality. ;) *blames the test results*
Anyway 7 am. Somewhat sleepy. Good night.
I've been busy doing work...well, playing lots of games but doing work too. But now semester is over and I can now fully enjoy the holidays (after I shake of this bout of sickness - burnout blahness) AND that means I can (but not necessarily will) blog again!
Anyway, in this short period of time I've found more People I Dislike/Find Mildly Annoying:
1. People who don't bathe. And go for a smoke and the smell never leaves because its caught in their long filthy hair that hasn't been washed in probably 2-3 weeks.
2. People who initiate conversations but leave when they have something better to do aka 'friends' who only find you when they're bored.
3. Twitter spammers OMG geez! I know it's twitter and it's supposed to be self-centered and all...but seriously? I don't need to know how you feel every 2 minutes. Literally. I kind of regret signing up for twitter (but follow me anyway! I'm chocosnowbunnie *shameless self-whoring*)
4. People who avoid answering questions. You're just shady and I'm inclined to believe that you have something to hide and therefore I assume that you're a dishonest person and therefore I don't like you.
5. Cryptic people. Asking me something weird/making unusual comments and refuse to elaborate on it. Wtf?
"Steph...I have to tell you something..."
"What?"
"Nah...it's really stupid...nvm.."
"Just tell me ffs"
"No, forget it."
"..."
FARKIUUUUU don't like that can or not? Sangat the suspense leh! But since this only comes from guys online, I'd like to fill in the blanks myself and imagine they are hopelessly in love with me but knows that their love will go unrequited because I only love my bf and so they decided against confessing at the last moment.
THERE. I feel better now.
Okay, on to something positive.
Things I plan to do this holiday:
(27 May - 17 July 2011)
1. Get my online portfolio up and running. It's empty at the moment but if you check back once in a while you may see something new and interesting! (If I haven't spammed it on facebook already.)
2. Download Unity3D and make my first game. Have plans to do this with Junki over the holidays, but we'll see how it goes cause I'm working and then going back home to Malaysia after that.
3. Work. Going back to VCAA to earn some $$$. I'm buying a new camera, the pink Canon Powershot SX 230 HS if that matters. I'm also interested in a Kindle...but not sure if it's practical as its 3Ge is unavailable in Malaysia.
4. Play some games! Bought so many a while ago which I haven't even downloaded. Especially interested in Bioshock 1 and 2 :)
5. Get my skillz back. I just realised what a complete trainwreck I am when I'm playing CS. Not only do I panic when up against a competen adversary, I also lose my temper and subsequently play even worse and then spiral into a never-ending pit of suckage and madness. What happened to composure? Pah. I was never that good but now I'm just shamefully bad.
6. Practice drawing/do more design work. Anyone willing to hire me? I'll do your design work for FREE! Well, maybe payment in the form of teh ais and credit will be more than sufficient :) Just looking for things to do.
7. Learn DreamWeaver and revamp this whole blog.
Things I hopefully will NOT do this holiday:
1. Get into an argument with worthless ahbengs. No, I'm not saying all ahbengs are worthless, some are actually pretty nice and sweet people. I mean, don't get into a verbal fight with the ah bengs who ARE worthless. Gotta learn to keep my head level and screwed on properly.
2. Get drunk. I feel like going clubbing with my dear Vivi and I WILL maintain my 2-year streak of sobriety.
3. Stop hurting my friends feelings. Maybe they're hopelessly scatterbrained or maybe they smoke. But they're my friends and there's more to them than that. I really cannot tolerate smoke but I'm glad that most of my friends know that and blow their smoke away from me/go outside to smoke. Let me get this clear once and for all: I don't hate smokers, but I DO hate the fact that you smoke. But I still love you :(
4. Pick unnecessary fights online. It's hard not to feel betrayed/pissed off at some people, but PFFT! I can rise above all that, right?
5. Rape Sam. HA just joking ;D I'll keep my pants on. Probably.
Things I wish WOULD happen during this holiday:
1. Receive all HDs for my assignments. Or at least 3. Pretty please? I worked really hard...
2. Get my hair done. I've still got 1/3 a bottle of purple hairdye :) Hopefully I find the time to redye my fading pink streaks.
3. Receive my new camera! I'm excited at the thought of finally carrying a camera around in my bag and taking random shots again.
4. Meet up with all my friends. This rarely happens, as in 'all' my friends. I normally keep going out with the same few and neglect the others. I'm sorry. And I WILL hunt KC down this time X)
5. Regulate my eat/sleep cycle. It's pretty screwed up atm, from all the allnighters I've pulled at the end of the semester. Staying awake for 24 hours and sleeping for 16...then working for another 24 hours. 1 meal a day...that reminds me I've lost a LOT of weight. I FEEL thinner.
6. GAIN WEIGHT. How many times have I wished this would happen but it didn't? I could change it to 'grow a sweet pair of boobs' and that would probably be more likely to happen. Though when that happens, my wish to gain weight would probably be fulfilled as well, seeing as boobs don't weight nothing.
7. Foster closer friendships. I'm still pretty iffy on the whole friendship thing. I like people but that can change very fast. I know it, but I don't know how to help it. It's built into my personality I guess...it says so right here! Yea, I'm an INTP and I found the article and all its sub-articles to be 80% accurate. If you're curious, take the Myers-Briggs personality test and you'll find that the description of the results seems to understand like no one else ever has.
But sigh. I don't want to be picky...I'm sorry. I find it hard to see past flaws, including my own. The good news is that once you've somehow wormed your way into my heart, I'll probably always have a soft spot for you :) Unless you do something so horrible and unforgiveable, after which I'll probably evict you permanently.
Don't blame me. It's part of my personality. ;) *blames the test results*
Anyway 7 am. Somewhat sleepy. Good night.
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