Hm. Nothing much to say lately. I've just been on a pokemon-dota-cs-dota-cs-pokemon-maybel4d2later spree.
The last couple weeks of absence from blogging was filled with work. Yes, WORK. One good thing that happened when Tata and Junki finally got together was that I get to spend all my uni time in the presence of a super hard-working and organized person. If you knew me well enough, you'd know that the behaviour and mannerisms of people around influence me very easily.
Not in a life-changing way, like trying drugs or something. But say someone is really talkative and likes gossiping, then I will follow suit. In this case, Junki is someone who has his head screwed on right and has his priorities straight, so I feel motivated to get my ass in line and start working hard too.
I guess I'm no longer afraid of the tablet. Last time, it used to signify all that I couldn't do, but now...once I start familiarizing myself with it, it's not really that intimidating at all.
I can do ANYTHING!
Maybe not now, but definitely in time. I guess I lost faith in my own potential for a while...I may not be the best artist or gamer or girlfriend or anything, but I jolly well COULD be. Not trying = failure.
A couple of weeks ago, I sat down in the uni lab - in public - and started painting. It seemed impossible at first, the interface and controls were so daunting initially that I just sat there and stared at the screen and just procrastinated as much as I could.
But when I finally started...it was complete immersion. One grey blob started to grow eyes...mouth..a nose...and before I knew it, I was flicking my pen gently on the tablet, adding eyelashes to the face of my very first digital painting.
And it was cute. It certainly didn't look 100% like the reference picture...but close enough.
After a while I realized that drawing from reference is not creation at all. It's merely following a set of procedures.
Block out the face. Block out the features. Line the features. Shade the features. Polish up.
And ta-da! 'Art.' Haha.
Anyway...lately I've been starting to have this weird feeling that I don't like people in general. That's weird. I mean, how can you NOT like people, right? You ARE a person.
But every day something happens that makes me lose faith in mankind just a little bit more. It's like, THIS is our future? Our world being run by absolutely shallow, selfish morons with a linear perspective of the world?
I don't mean to make myself sound like the deepest, most intellectual person on earth, because I'm far from it...but come on. Seeing the stupid things people say on facebook and ridiculous arguments on garena are already enough to make me think that the next generation is doomed to fail.
The moment someone even shows the potential of succeeding, someone has to come along and try to pull them down, out of either insecurity or jealousy. Not that fair criticism is a problem, but if someone has to think long and hard just to find the SLIGHTEST error in your ways and then use it to attack you is just an act of pure malice.
Imagine someone putting their head on the chopping block for the sake of self-improvement and there you go and poke their eyes out with toothpicks. Bah. That didn't even make sense but that's what I feel.
Also, there are some people on garena who love to scold people for no good reason.
FUCK YOU HOST LAG LIKE FUCK DON'T HOST LA.
Hello. We're playing CS, you know you can leave any time you want right? And if you're so fucking superior, why don't YOU try and host and see how it feels to have someone rip a new hole in your ass for nothing?
Host dog, host noob, host no lanjiao...because YOU'RE lagging? Please la, learn some manners and have some respect for the people who do you a favour.
YES they are doing you a favour because if they don't host, you can't play. Period. If you COULD host, you would be hosting if lagging hosts piss you off so much. Either way, the host can't do shit to help your retarded tmnet line, so the only favour you can do for everyone including yourself is to STFU and play.
Fucking ah bengs.
Also, there are a whole bunch of uncivilized male gamers out there who find it acceptable to objectify female gamers and treat them like a novelty instead of serious gamers.
Honestly, I'm neither super proud nor intimidated to be a female gamer. Gamers are gamers, doesn't really matter whether you are a guy or a girl. There's no physical exertion involved, so guys don't naturally have the upper hand. It's just that guys tend to take games more seriously than girls do, generally speaking.
So maybe it's less likely to find girls playing DotA or CS or any common game out there, but we DO play them and we deserve some respect like the respect you afford your fellow male gamers.
I hate the way guys assume that we play games to find guys to date. AS IF we can't get guys anywhere else. And coming from a girl who met her boyfriend through CS, the fact still stands.
I didn't play games to meet guys or look for hookups. I play because I enjoy playing. Don't treat me like a whore and talk about me being horny or fucking around or anything that even vaguely represents sexual harassment.
Some guys do it to my face, some behind my back. Some are joking, but that doesn't make it okay. I'm a girl, not a THING.
A simple guideline to follow: If it's not something you want being said about your mother or sister by a stranger, don't say it about other girls.
If you're my friend and want to joke about these things with me, sure. I can be just as crude as any guy can be, but I'd appreciate it if it were kept between us only.
Also, it's not nice to know that guys can talk like this about girls and people are like 'ah, they're just being guys...' whereas when girls talk like that we're bitches or uneducated tomboys.
There was a guy irritating me on garena. He added me on facebook when he didn't even KNOW who I was. So, I was on garena and talking to him to find out whether he knew me or not. However, he kept acting like I was beneath him and he was just being a bloody snob in general.
Then someone said I was a girl and he was like really? Yea right, as if there are girls who play CS.
That was just too much. Horny guys who add random girls on facebook and THEN try to deny their existence? HO! *puffs up in indignance*
So I told him yea, if you don't know someone, don't fucking add them on facebook and then act like you're too good for me when I know you're just a desperate, lonely guy who has nothing better to do.
Then he went WAAA CONFIRM NOT GIRL LA TALK LIKE THAT.
OHHHHHH so only guys can swear la is it? Only guys know about sex is it? Only guys can curse people is it?
You all are fucking retarded.
Bloody ah bengs should come out of their little hole and taste real life.
Perhaps we keep our profanities in check most of the time, but to say that we NEVER swear or we don't know ANYTHING about human anatomy is like saying girls don't fart.
You know what? WE DO. So stop acting like a complete dick cause you sound just as ignorant as stupid as those who think girls are all pretty and smell like roses.
Bah.
Yes, PMS now if you're wondering.
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