Boys Boys Boys (We like boys in cars!)

So, I promised that this post wouldn't be a post filled with emo rage. Instead, I shall talk (write?) about some guys I've met over the years who may or may not have tried to kao me. (Most of them are from the internet, no prize for the person who correctly guesses why.)

This is for you Leon. If I still bore you to death, I'm sorry. You are hereby given permission to leave and never return. ~__~ (It was written in Notepad on a rainy day and then pasted here when the lightning subsided, which explains why it's so bloody long.)

Here we go!

1. Christian Boy

I only heard this from his friends, so I cannot confirm whether it is true or not. Anyway we used to play CS together. One fine day, after playing DotA together with his friends and ending up in an argument, they told me that it was a shame that I wasn't Christian, cause Christian Boy would TOTALLY ask me out.

Firstly, he doesn't even live in KL. Secondly, I'm not interested. The only shame is that such a nice boy had such shitty friends who said I was going to go to hell and that they would pray for me on the way down. HOWEVER, I would be saved if I repented and joined their church. Uh, thanks for the offer but no thanks.

2. Suicidal Ah Beng

This was a guy I met while playing DotA. He's from Johor and he constantly whines to me about girls never liking him, that he's too ugly and stupid for anyone to like him. His only problem was probably that he whines so much that he puts a spoilt preteen girl to shame. Anyway, he was always calling me cutesy things like muimui, and one day typed over msn that he imagined me sitting on his lap and he 'stim' edi. LOLWUT? I stopped talking to him after that, and he bombarded me with messages that he felt like killing himself. Oh well.

3. Overrated Nerd

I like nerds, I cannot lie. I mean not those extremely stereotypical types with thick specs and talk about Star Wars/Trek all day, but those quiet, shy types who worked hard and was more sensitive than the average Joe. So anyway, this Overrated Nerd asked me out and since he was in KL, I went out with him. He DITCHED me. FUCK! I was ditched by a nerd! How low can you go? He said he had to go, and so I bought a front-row ticket and ate McDonalds while watching a movie all by myself while waiting for mom to pick me up.

Anyway, after that he still had the nerve to invite me to a party. For some reason, I went anyway. Anyhow, I got there and flirted with his close friend for 4 hours (though I wasn't even interested) and then left the party without even speaking to him. And we never spoke again after that.

4. Cute WoW guy

I liked this boy, I really did. Not in a romantic way, but in a platonic way. He's not such a bad guy. He even named his WoW characters after me, and got them white bunnies as pets.

I got a bit freaked out however, when he messaged me 1200 times in the span of 3 days and I got 5 missed calls and numerous messages while I took a TEN minute shower. He started talking about getting married (although I haven't met him yet) and I have no idea whether he was joking or not, but as a precaution I told him that I wasn't interested in him THAT way...he knows that right?

Then he said I was delusional that I even imagined that and for a while the relationship became a bit strange. But I'm talking to him again now and I still like him. He's a funny guy, that one.

5. Creepy Indian

Indian as a definition, not discrimination. Anyway, I met this guy while working in Australia last July. I arrived to work soaked, after walking in the rain for 10 minutes. Apparently he found my hair AMAZING (or was it amusing?) and he talked to me non-stop cause I was seated next to him by my boss. I worked for 8 hours and during one of the breaks he asked me for my facebook. Thinking nothing of it, I took his phone and saw that it wasn't facebook open, but the phone book.

I looked at him and he said 'ok, write down your number.' I thought that I was going to work with him for another couple of weeks and didn't want to make things nasty so I gave him my number. He became a bit creepy and said he would save me a seat at work so we could sit together. I came late the next day and sat in a different room. He saw me and he knew. He knew I didn't want to sit with him anymore and he walked off.

I never went back to work after that day.

1 month later, after returning to Melbourne from KL, I was shocked to see that he messaged me, asking how was my holiday and welcome back to Melbourne. I only mentioned this in passing and it's amazing how he could remember the exact date. I told him that I was saving phone credit for my bf and won't reply, so he found me on facebook. He said I should go out with him and hinted that no girls ever refuse him.

WTF? I said no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO and ignored him on facebook continuously until he stopped messaging me.

6. <s>Ah Beng Hairdresser</s>

Relatively minor compared to Creepy Indian. Ah Beng Hairdresser went through my whole friendster album and commented on every single one of my hairstyles, telling me which looked good and which didn't. He also told me that to get yellow nail polish stains off my nails, I should soak them in lemon water - it softens the cuticles while bleaching off the stains. Come to think of it, maybe he's gay! @___@ Okay, cross him off then. Until today he still messages me to reenact random DotA stories and ask me for a game. (Though I quit 2 years ago - he should know that!)

6. Schizophrenic Kid

The reason I say he's schizophrenic is because he can act like such a sweet, kind person one moment, and a raging racist bastard the next. Anyway, I was taken in by his sweet side and he added me on msn and subsequently facebook. He told me that I was pretty and had a hot body (the fuck? lol) and why did I choose to study in Melbourne? I should come down to Singapore where he lived instead. He said I should hit him up if I ever went there and he'll give me a personal tour around the place. It was nothing until he started asking about my boyfriend and started making snide remarks. Oh he's a nerd, why are you dating him? You should be dating guys like me, or me! I got slightly irritated by that but agreed to go CS with him after that - then I saw his raging psychopathic side.

Screaming and insulting people for FUN? Oh god, you're exactly the type of person I dislike. *deletes off facebook + blocks msn* He bombarded me with messages in Garena's public channel for days, which I ignored completely. After a few days, he decided that we were finally done. He started screaming about me in the channel, saying that I'm an ugly bitchslutwhore who was meanasfuck.

I didn't know whether to laugh or just be amused by the whole Jekyll and Hyde thing he was doing. My friends told me to keep calm and ignore him, as if his unoriginal comments could piss me off. But I appreciate the thought anyway, guys. :)

***

It was tiring typing all that. So I supposed there were 6 that were significant/fresh enough to remember. There were many more who asked me out/asked for number/flirted with me but I guess it was too long ago/not interesting enough to write up about individually.

Oh and here's a shoutout to clubbing guy who couldn't stop grabbing me round the waist that one time in Maison and grinding up on my ass: I hope you liked that bony elbow in your solar plexus, you idiot.

And just for fun:

7. Misled Girl

Misled Girl asked my classmate for my number and for an intro when she saw me from afar in a group lecture during college. Apparently I CAN pass as a guy to a straight girl. I was very pleased at my versatility but overall I found it amusing that the only time that a normal person showed interest in me was when she thought I was a guy.

I AM A LENGZAI, everyone! Do not forget! AHAHAHA.

And if you were wondering how the fuck that could happen, I had parts of my hair cropped to shorter than an inch with a long fringe. (Shorter than the pic.) Must have been all the rage for college guys back then. I also wore a guys jacket (Not the one in the pic). and I tended to favour this pair of baggy cargo pants for the ice-cold lecture halls. I guess my lack of chest helped too.

Well, haha. Fun times. Anyway to prove I wasn't a total tragedy during college, a guy DID ask me out at ftz for lunch, after checking that I didn't have a boyfriend. But then again my friends told me he was a notorious flirt so I guess that didn't really count.

And last but not least:

8. Gentleman Geek

I met this guy while playing on CS Zombie Mod. It was kind of funny cause I thought he was a girl (his IGN queenofpain) and he thought I was a guy (not many girls play CS.) Anyway we got to know each other for a few months and finally we went out with friends as a group. I thought he was really cute and we went out again after that, alone. I remember being really tweengirly while in the cinema, pretending to fall asleep so I could see how his shoulder feels like. Then when the movie ended (it was really boring anyway) I woke up and pretended I didn't know anything happened.

Anyway I liked him a lot, and I knew he liked me too. But for some reason, he didn't want to make a move. So finally, one drunken night I nearly mauled him to death.

Just kidding.

Having heard about his low alcohol tolerance, I challenged him - cup for cup in the club. Problem was, I didn't stop drinking after he stopped (after the second glass.) And that's the first time I got high off my rockers (after 5 consecutive cups in 15 minutes.) We went to the dance floor, where Viv asked me to dance with him. I stubbornly refused, still having SOME sense of shame even after all that poison in my body.

But you know Viv. Seizing an opportunity, she shoved me REALLY hard and I lost my balance... (come on, I was in heels and inebriated) ...only to land in guess who's arms?

PHEW! SWOON. /clings on happily and promptly attempted to bite his ear off. (Probably why alcohol is also known as liquid courage. Just so you know, I have NEVER done anything like that in my entire life, nor ever planned to. He just smelled so nice. LOL.)

Anyway he was a perfect gentleman and never grabbed my ass or anything (unlike me, drunken whore.) He just brought me outside to have a glass of water when I could no longer stand and I laid face-down and unmoving on the table for a solid 45 minutes. (All this while Viv thought he booked a hotel room and was attempting to rape me. Lol, and that's why we're such good friends.)

And you know what? Even after that, he refused to make a move! Wtf! I threw all my dignity out the window and nothing changed?

But finally, he confessed, right before I left to Melbourne for 4 months. He said that if he didn't say anything now, he would never have the chance again. That was on the 16th of February 2009.

:)

And you know how the story ends.