Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Relief

I just needed to get all that rage out of my system, I guess.

My (subconsciously decided) new year's resolution was to never let anger get the best of me.

I own anger. It doesn't own me.

I thought I was doing so well, becoming all docile and nearly harmless the past couple of years...looks like it was all a facade. I'm not calm and collected. I LOOK calm and collected.

Haha. Oh well. As long as I release my anger in a controlled environment and manner, there's no harm done. That's what blogs are for, yea? If you feel uncomfortable seeing another side of me, then leave.

Leave like...okay I was going to say something really bitter here but let's call it a day with all the poisonous feelings, alright?

I should think that now most of you can somewhat understand why I refused to date or even hang out certain types of people last time.

I don't do smokers. Don't joke, please. Do you think I feel like watching my friend/loved one slowly kill themselves with all that disgusting smoke? Do you think I'd sit silently, watching you smoke nonchalantly while significantly increasing your risk of nose/throat/lung cancer? All this while my dad did NOTHING to deserve it and got it anyway? Don't fucking joke.

Reckless drivers, risk-takers, people immature enough to fool around on escalators.
I mean it's fine if you want to do it in your own time, I just don't want to be involved.

Ah bengs/gangsters - you think I'd like to watch you get taken out over some tiny petty fight over 'honour' or territory?

Suicidal people - pfft. My life sucks, I don't get enough money from my parents, this boy/girl doesn't love me, I hate school, I hate the establishment, I'm in so much pain I have to free myself from it by KILLING myself, not caring about the people who actually love me and would be devastated to see me go.

(If REALLY, no one loves you AT ALL and you decide to kill yourself over that, sucks to be you. Sucks even more to be to person to clean up your body.)

You're so pathetic it's not even funny. It's better that you remove yourself from our gene pool then. At least you'd be contributing something to the rest of us who actually WANT to live.

Maybe I'm being harsh, but that's the way it is. I don't like losing anyone I care about, and you probably don't either. So why get involved in the first place if you're only going to make me worry and possibly, endure another loss?

Gahh. I was going to make up for the gloomy post yesterday with a happy, jolly post today. But I guess there are still demons within me yet to be exorcised. So much for starting over a new blog and leaving bad memories behind.

The difference between this new blog and the previous one...I used to harbour lots of resentment between my calm old-blogger exterior; now I feel like I can spew all my disappointment, my dissatisfaction, my ugly feelings at no one in particular.

No more protecting the cute, mild bunnie facade. Bring on the painnnnn.

However, I promise to not always be in this mood. And I guess starting over and leaving everything behind is somewhat working. Now I'm releasing things I've been keeping in my heart for years - that's got to be a good thing, right?

:)

Darkbunnie is here. (Hahaha that sounds ridiculous wtf.)

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>'.'< Bunneh?
     

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